Finding My Footing Again

9:00 AM on Tuesday, February 10, 2009.  I was but a few days shy of my 30th birthday, and found myself

staring down a little white scale at the Monroe Aquatic Center.  The previous summer I had spent 10 weeks in India, working as an intern with my church's mission board, and desperately wanted to return on a paid basis.  The only problem was that I was nowhere near being able to pass the required physical exam.  So when I heard that Weight Watchers was running a promotion -- no registration fee for new members during the month of February -- I decided to bite the bullet.  I hoisted my pride like a giant white flag, took a deep breath, and stepped on the scale.  356.2 pounds.

Over the course of the next two and a half years, the lessons I learned and the relationships I developed as a part of this group of (predominantly) women helped me to forge a new way of life.  I began exercising; I discovered that I actually enjoyed vegetables; I gained the knowledge and the self-control to start making healthy choices.  And it paid off -- by fall of 2010, I had dropped 170 pounds.  If you counted the 30 pounds I lost in India before I started on Weight Watchers (which I did), that made it an even 200.  I rejoiced when the scale read 186, because I was a mere 16 pounds from my goal weight -- and I was never going to look back.

And then I moved back to Ohio.

I found a local chapter of Weight Watchers, and began attending meetings religiously.  The only problem was, the weight wasn't coming off.  I began what has turned into a three-year-long plateau.  During that time, I've watched the scale move in a pattern that can only be described as schizophrenic -- I'll lose 3 pounds in a week, only to gain 4 the next.  I'll take off 2, and gain 1.  Eventually frustration turned to futility, and I started watching the "down" numbers get smaller and the "up" numbers get bigger.  And so it's time for true confessions: as of the last time I stepped on the scale, I've put back on nearly 30 pounds from my lowest weight.  I'm ashamed and frustrated with myself, my clothes aren't fitting as well as they should (I'm 5'10", so weight doesn't show on me as much as it would if I were shorter)...

...and it stops now.

Over the course of my life, I've found that the best way to remedy the issues that beset me is to bring them out into the open.  Suppressing and/or whitewashing my problems does me no good -- I can't deal with them unless I first give up and admit they exist.  So, gentle reader, I invite you on this journey with me.  I plan on being totally transparent with both my victories and my struggles, in hopes that it will both help me to stay accountable and (hopefully) to help others who might be facing some of the same obstacles in their own journey.  Let's take this road together -- I'm holding on to the faith that it will take us somewhere amazing.