Non-Traditional Victories

Let me just preface this entry by saying that it's not going to be easy to write.  But it needs to be said, so I'm going to do it.

I've been putting off logging my weight into my online tracker for the past couple of weeks.  With the holiday busy-ness on top of all the other "stuff" I've had to do, it wasn't very high on my priority list.  It's not like I hadn't been weighing in every week; I just hadn't taken the extra step and sent it out into cyberspace.  (I think part of it was also the fact that I didn't want that nasty little screen to pop up saying, "What happened?")  Well, today was D-day.  I filled in the missing blocks on my chart and took a long, hard look at the facts that were staring me in the face.  Over the past 12 weeks, I have lost a net total of -- wait for it -- 0.8 pounds.  Yes, friends, that's what we call a "plateau."  As many of my friends and family members can attest, this has been a near constant frustration for me.  I'll have a couple of great weeks, and think I've finally gotten out of the quicksand, and then I'll have a sudden gain.  (Like two weeks ago, when I worked out twice a day for a week straight and put on 4.6 pounds.)  I know that there are other possible reasons for it -- I'm retaining water, I'm gaining muscle -- but it doesn't stop me from wanting to throw that stupid scale across the room. 

BUT there's a silver lining to this cloud.  I got a body measurement today at the gym, and the results helped me to get my head back on straight.  Since June (the last time I got measured), I've lost a total of 15 inches.  Since my first measurement, I've lost a total of 72.  That's six feet -- two inches taller than I am on a good day.  A body fat analysis was part of the measurement, and the nurse told me that I'm currently at 21.1%, easily within the athletic range.  Want to talk about something that absolutely blows your mind?!  Never for a million years would I have thought that I would ever be described as "athletic."  Even now, as I sit here typing away, I still can't completely wrap my head around it.

So, boys and girls, what has Jodi learned from this experience?  It helped to verify a thought that passed through my mind as I sat in my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday.  Too often I view my self-worth by a stupid, comparatively insignificant, little number.  My entire week can be made or broken by the arbitrary measurement of how much the big blue ball that I call home is pulling down on me.  And it's just plain wrong.  Don't misunderstand me -- I am still going to continue my efforts to improve my health, and part of that will hopefully be watching about 20 more pounds come off.  But I need to step back, think, and re-prioritize.  Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing to be the best steward of my body that I can be?  Am I feeding it the right foods in the right amounts?  Am I giving it the exercise that it needs?  Am I resting it when it needs it?  (I'll admit -- some of those I can affirm, but some of those I honestly have to negate.)  These should be the true measures of my success.  The scale, as intimidating as it all too often can be, is nothing more than an instrument of measurement.  It's a little box that spits out a number -- it's not judging me!  We don't get intimidated by the little green mile markers on the interstate, do we?  Of course not.  All they do is tell us how far we've come, and how much farther we need to go.  That scale does the same thing.  Yes, sometimes we find that we've backed up a few feet (or yards, or even miles).  But that in no way means that we won't be allowed further passage on the road.  I'm in this journey for the long haul; the past two years have proven that to me again and again.  There's no speed limit on this road, either; I can inch forward on my hands and knees if that's what it takes.  But darnit, Lord willing I'm going to get to my destination.  And those little green mile markers aren't the only way that I can tell I'm making progress.  The scenery's changing around me -- I'm seeing sights that I've never seen before.  I'm getting there.  I just need to keep going.